Five words

Lost in the desert sun with blisters in my feet
dragging both the self and my parched soul
hoping for...just five words from you
Five words that help me stay
Five words that i want you to say

Winter's gone and with it the sunny mornings too
where i would wiggle my toes in sun and think just of you
Five words would make my day
Five words that i want you to say

Bracing the spring,i longed to talk to you
if only you had said 'love you' i would have said 'love you too'
Five words that keep us away
Five words that i want you to say

It's the rains now...i stand alone
watching everything dance and croon
Five words that's all it takes
Five words that i want you to say.

Note : Just imagine a day well spent...you have done everything right,worked well,had a good dinner,chatted with family...and friends too,and then when you lie down at the night you suddenly realize that something is terribly missing. There is a void in your heart,a void that is in shape of a 'person' and that simply refuses to fill up with anything else that you might try. And then comes a tear rolling down your cheek and you wish that you could somehow hear something from that person....anything....even if it's only just five words !

When you feel dis-con-nec-ted

Feeling dis-con-nec-ted

and living those oh-so-similar days

But the rains are new

the flowers are here too

......then why is there the same weather in me !

Go on ma chere dance in the rain

wash yourself a-new

o'w...a....i....t

Did you 'hear' the flower blooming !

did you 'see' the cool breeze !

......and nearby some-whe-re

did you feel a butterfly emerging !

Note: i start writing feeling all lonely and end up finding some hope on the way to the end......that invariably happens to me. So that notion about 'hearing' the flower blooming and 'seeing' the breeze were all about heightened senses which you all must have experienced when you feel you are on the brink of an amazing discovery or something. I just wanted to convey the anxiety and the idea of stepping onto something lovely...very soon,hence the single quotes,because they aren't real !

But then why did i not single quote the (feel) in metamorphosis ! You people have the guess.

Humming-bird flies in the desert rain

A humming-bird flies in the desert rain

through both a place happy and sad.

flapping tiny wings,wings of hope,

flapping and flapping them hard.

Tiny in size,but not at heart

it slowly keeps making its way through.

Flap and puff...flap and puff.

Flown ever in desert rain...have you ?

That tiny contractured heart of it's

says sing a song o'my bee.

But huff and puff she says

o'me too tired,i can't be.

Vast spaces of desert land,that is all

that she could see.

No place to hide,no place to rest

no place to even plead to Thee.

Barren like an old womb,

has this desert been

for ages and ages...so sad.

But along came the storm mighty and hefty

she hardly could see the reason to be glad !

A humming-bird,if you have seen

is small and tiny

you could grab it in your fist

at once.

But wings of hope

do the wonders

and take it to places

not yet known

the tiny bird,held up it's face

and i do not know what she had in mind.

But huff-a-puff and huff-a-puff

just a little more now~something of this kind.

O' yes i am happy,happy for the desert,

for it's prayers has been answered today.

But the darling humming-bird kept me worried,

as she flew steadily and far-away.

*** Desert would be the most horrible place in the world for a humming-bird to be,who survives and feeds on the nectar of flowers. When i wrote this,all i could think about was someone trapped in a world where they do not belong. Secondly the courage of one of the tiniest birds in the world,to fly through one of the toughest habitats...a desert,that's what i wanted to write ( my usual upbeat optimism ) . Rain is a blessing for the desert but i am guessing it would have made it even harder for the humming-bird,what with the winds and sand. But i just wanted to write that there is always a possibility if we have wings of hope.

Surreal Sahir Ludhianvi s'aab

It's 2:30 in the morning and with a cup of coffee in my hand i am reading beautiful nazms by Sahir Ludhianvi. We know him as a great lyricist but he was oh-so-awesome poet i knew not of. Usually i just keep my original writings on my blog but making an exception today,just to share the depth and beauty of his writing.

Hiraas

tere hoNThoN pe tabassum ki vo halki si lakeer
mere taKh’eel meiN rah rah ke jhalak uThti hai
yuuN achaanak tire aariz ka Khayaal aataa hai
jaise zulmat meiN koi shama’ bhaRak uThti hai


tere pairaahan-e-rangeeN ki junuuNKhez mahak
Khwaab ban ban ke mire zehan meiN lahraati hai
raat ki sard Khamoshi meiN har ik jhoNke se
tere anfaas, tire jism ki aaNch aatii hai


maiN sulagate hue raazoN ko ayaaN to kar douN
lekin in raazoN kii tash_heer se jee Dartaa hai
raat ke Khwaab ujaale meiN bayaaN to kar douN
in haseeN KhwaaboN ki taa’beer se jee Dartaa hai


tere saaNsoN ki thakan, teri nigaahoN ka sukuut
dar-haqeeqat koi rangeen sharaarat hi na ho
maiN jise pyaar ka andaaz samajh baiThaa houN
vo tabassum vo takallum teri aadat hi na ho


sochtaa houN ki tujhe milke maiN jis soch meiN houN
pahle us soch ka maqsoom samajh louN to kahouN
maiN tire shahr meiN anjaan houN pardesi houN
tere altaaf ka mafhoom samjah louN to kahouN


kahiiN aisa na ho ki paaNv mire thraa jaayeiN
aur tiri marmari baahoN ka sahaaraa na mile
ashk bahte raheiN Khaamosh siyah raatoN meiN
aur tire reshmi aaNchal ka kinaaraa na mile


Glossary


hiraas = Fear
tabassum = smile
taKh’eel = imagination
aariz = cheeks
zulmat = darkness
pairahan-e-rangeeN = colorful dress
junuuNKhez = something that makes you crazy
zehn = mind
anfaas = breath(plural)
raazoN = secrets
ayaaN = showing
tash_heer = advertisement
taa’beer = result, fruit of these dreams
sukuut = silence
dar-haqeeqat = in reality
takallum = conversation (the way of talking)
maqsoom = result (future)
altaaf = (kripa) grace, help, assistance…
mafhoom = meaning
marmari = soft, velvety
siyah = dark

Wo Raah...

काले अँधेरे सा फैला अकेलापन
और कभी बिस्तर की सलवटो में सिमटा सा


अनजान चेहरों में कभी
अपनों को ढूँढा करता है

रात बेरात जब भी आँखे बंद करती हु
उसे देखा करता है की जिसे
पहचाना नहीं अब तलक मैने

दिल की गहरायियो में रंज भी है
कही वफ़ा भी
सोच के की क्या यही अब से ज़िन्दगी है
हैरान भी हु और परेशान भी


कभी टटोलती, कभी संभलती,कभी खुद ही को समझाती हु
की वो राह जिसपर है जन्नत का नूर-ए-सबब

वो राह बस अगले मोड़ पर ही कही है ..

I Like...

Smell of earth in the first rains

Perfume of a loved one that lingers behind..

Hug from a friend when i need it the most

Warmth that fills my heart when i know i am loved.

The sweet rainy mornings

when i don't have a care in the world

just a cup of coffee and a lovely book

to hug myself sitting by some lonely corner of the room.

The cool breeze of winter nights

when christmas is just around the corner

the slow hum of a song faraway

and wiggling my toes under the blanket.

To sit in the sunny mornings

with paints in hand

splashing them mindlessly

around me colorful little flowers.

Suddenly receiving a letter from friend

that shows how much she cares

both smiling and crying to myself

and loving you and hugging you,my friend.

Those unexpected messages in my inbox

that says wish i was there with you

and then closing my eyes and sending you a hug

when the world doesn't seem mine at all.

I like when i know i am blessed

that somewhere my God has good plans for me

being blessed with a good family and caring friends

I could thus rest in His faithfulness.

it's a disease..this hope in our Heart

Like a disease

it consumes

It spreads inside you

to each tiny little cell

It takes up your mind

body and soul

holds it captive

refuses to let go

It wakes you up

in sunny mornings

with a glow

in your heart

You see a bright lovely face

in the bathroom mirror

Hopeful sleepy eyes

that wish for things better

Deceitful symptoms

and ghastly results

I tell you,it has

because it is a disease

deadlier than others

that spreads beneath the skin

takes hold of your being

It is a disease..this hope in our Heart

None at All

With stinging burning eyes

i look at my phone

any messages from you

None at All !

Promises are aplenty

like tiny little stars

do i not believe them

None at All !

Heart has its reasons

his own cares in wooly little world

but is logic amongst them

None at All !

I close my tired eyes

and i wish for you

Do i not trust you

None at All !

The Stalker

Hidden behind the trees,it peers at me

like a long lost friend...it stares.

Round misty eyes of compassion

with the look that says 'i know what you are walking through there'

I hasten on my path and try well to ignore it

whatever it is that stares

I quicken my steps with darting looks behind me

and pretend it isn't there

I curse it now under my breath

but look guiltily towards it too

For it was not it's fault

t'was me who had been wrong and foolish ever, through n through.

There had been many laughs

and smiles too....back then.

Shy glances of twinkling eyes

with a pink heart within.

All that times the voice in you says

'Stop' and turn back

But then o' so beautiful bliss of young love!

Dove'y eyes with long lashes

gaze at someone with racing heart

But it's not long before ,that the twinkle is gone

and you are nothing but a wilted self

All this i hear it whispering behind me

And i wonder why i look back and see!

For they say what is left behind is not to be sifted

Life's ahead

and there sure is hope

My feet but strayed but with eyes of love.

I just gaze ahead,and walk

one mindless step in front of the other

but am aware of it walking behind me too!

Don't want to hate it,no more

nor want to feel sorry.

All i wish is to someday see it eye in eye

and just feel that it's part of me too.