Divine Providence

Have you ever experienced it ? 

None of us like anyone meddling in our life. Even i didnt. Untill i learnt that divine providence isnt meddling, it is the only way i could be taught some sense. And i learnt it the hard way. Today for the very first time in my life when i prayed today i had nothing to ask for !!! A beggar like me !!!! When i fall short of stuff to ask,it really does mean something,but today i had only thanks to give.

We know the kind of people who pray only in a rush of corticosteroids.....(kind of chemical released by our body when in stress) Many of us do belong to the category ourselves.Fear,fight and flight are the only three times we ever join our hands and become beggars now and then,and that too ungrateful ones. The truth is there is a bigger picture.

Years back i prayed for somethings to happen,and i prayed ardently. I prayed with all that i have. Denied i turned bitter and disappointed. At times believing myself to be utterly stupid to believe in Special Providence. It took a lot of time for me to hope again. To hope for something good to happen in my misery sodden life. All my previous posts bear the testimonies to the Hope that i had in Him and trust in His faithfulness.

And this post stand as a proof to it. The only reason i write of His providence is to remind me later some time in my life that He is perfectly able to clean any shit that i had knowingly/unknowingly caused in my life. And if any of you get some of that hope seeped into your senses then that too would be His grace.

When i look at the larger picture today i see why he denied me certain things and why i needed time for correction. And i am also grateful for the pains taken..the lessons emblazoned into me...and the virtue of obedience hence taught. He had discarded everything that i thought would be of utmost importance to me and handed me something far more precious and divine.

Things of this world does not matter. He did provide me all that too though but above all He taught me to trust Him,come what may and to bow down to His command without even an iota of doubt. He promised me a future filled with hope and He stands by His word till this day.

The light at the end of the tunnel that i always used to talk about in my posts...is in sight now :).....by His grace. God's guidance is like a torchlight in a dark tunnel,it might not show you everything but it does show you just enough to take the next step.

The Promise

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Far and about

Many a times those who happen to read my blog tell me that i write of pain,misery,loneliness blah blah blah and they sort of complain that i rarely write about the good stuff. So today when i am feeling sunshin'y i thought il try and pen up something.

Like everybody else my words flow potentially powerfully and with a writer's rage only when i am troubled. It's very much like churning of a storm or a twister that really does bring the clutter together. All the awesome bloggers that i see here are somehow or the other so messed up inside,in a way many times i have found myself poetically musing about turning into one of them :)

But only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches so what seems so good and perfect to us must be so difficult for someone. What is a fashion or a culture to us,is actually a means for someone to connect to something(even if it is a virtual world) and hence survive. Personally today i wish all of them peace.

So coming onto the title 'Far and about'. I have no idea why i chose to write it,but it was spontaneous. My life's same,problems are same,afflictions are same so what changes ! Attitude. The one stop answer for everything. Detaching myself from my problems,and standing and seeing them from afar they dont really seem that monumental,they dont seem deathly scary either. They look more like bumps,minor pitfalls,manageable. For now.

It's easy to deal with anything,if we just keep our eyes fixated on the light at the end of the tunnel. Not a perfect way to go about but that atleast conditions our minds to the fact that there is an end to whatever it is that is tormenting us.

Swimming,driving back home with nice romantic numbers on FM,coming home,hugging my mom,and having hot scrambled eggs for breakfast did make my morning. I dont care who wants to make me feel as what. I refuse to feel small/dwarfed/poorly destined by anyone else. My destiny lies in the hands of a great God and my eyes firmly adhered to the light at the end of this tunnel.

Life: an act of trapeze

Believe me or not but we do have this strange affliction of overlooking the good parts in our life. For us the grass had always been and would always be greener on the other side. Promises: that's what i had been oddly thinking about during my work out today and realised that God had been good to me and kept some of His promises very faithfully. Where i always used to feel as being the odd one out,today i can gel in and connect well with my family. Happy for that. :)

I am yet to start next phase of my life..marriage and all,but life's good at home with mum-dad too. Bridges have been built,no grudges,no complains and past seems unreal today,one that leaves behind a hint of having occurred a lifetime ago. God had been good to grant me this time in which i could laugh with my family,and honestly these will be the days that i would miss and cherish for all my life to come.

With the sudden realisation of promises fulfilled there arrives also the scent of trust that as long as His presence continues in my life things would get better. I might not get all that i want,but i would be provided with all that i need;that much i believe.

Life is a balancing act. I am not visibly depressed or broken down when i am sad. I still do feel sad,a void left behind by all the friends and people who had promised to stay with me through thick and thin of it...and did not. But i can contain all that and carry on without projecting any of it. Which i consider as a huge personal achievement. Likewise neither i am excessively overjoyed by turn of events in my favour.

I have learnt (and am still learning) that being calm and serene,holding your smile all the while trusting a higher force to align things for you is the best way to live a happy life. I read somewhere be like a duck,calm and composed on the outside but underneath the surface of water pedal like a devil.

A blessed night to every one and a soulful sleep.