Beginnings

I have been yearning for a lot of things lately. A lot of normal simple things. Yearning to have a peaceful sleep without being anxious or apprehensive. Yearning to sit on my porch and finish that half-read salman rushdie. Yearning to have a sumptuous meal or a mug of late night coffee without having to worry about fitting into the expensive dresses on my D-day. Damn i am scared shitless about that :)

New feelings. The first ones for me. Have been living my life in a pair of jeans,running between workouts,market shopping sprees and my clinic. Sadly i am not concentrating well in any of these places because my mind always seem to seep and pour out to many different compartments these days.

Its not just dressing up and looking pretty that day its the day of new beginnings,its the first day of the rest of my life. And its a life that is not of my choosing. Hence the anxious me. Strangely some people might not understand how i feel now,exactly seven days before my marriage. What i feel is not sad neither happy. Not extremely overjoyed nor troubled. I just feel.....and find myself praying that i be helped and eased into the new "roles" that i am being dressed up into.

I am happy. Happy for the new life that i have been granted and i pray for to stay blessed the same way.