We all have a rebellion streak in us. We rebel against our parents,our normal life,our destiny and also against God and His will,foolishly so. When we rebel we often say 'i will live happily with the choices i make today,no matter what the consequences'. But do we? Do we really live happily with the repercussions of our disastrous choices! I have fucked up my life in more than the ways i can say. I fought against everything that had ever forced me to go on a certain path. All the while believing i was doing the right thing. Today i wonder whether it was. I know whatever i had gone through is the reason for everything that i am today,and that consoles me most of the time. But that is it,'most' not all the time. I feel sad for myself sometimes. Cant complain. And to whom can i,even if i want to! But God has still sorted out my humoungously screwed up life every time. He has been my rock,through thick and thin of it. He,in His grace has done so much for me,that now i am ashamed of ever turning my back on Him. But more than anything He has increased my faith. Teaching me that help will come,if i just ask for it. He is capable of still greater things. All i need to do is be still,and know that He is the Lord.