"Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its root into the very depths of your heart; confess to yourself whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write." Rainier Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

Friday, May 24, 2013

So it turns out,the exams that i am preparing for here in australia (ADC) are getting even tougher. For every one person that i come across who has cleared,there are two who havent gone through and have abandoned any hopes altogether. Taking up some other profession and doing something else is just unimaginable for me.
I dont think i can and would be able to do anything else than being a dentist. I have never been anything else all my life! I know in my heart,God has not brought me this far just to abandon me. I know in my heart that if i keep trusting Him good things would happen to me. But the fear that accompanies the uncertainty of what future holds in store is just too gripping. When days are good i work well,i study,i cook,eat,take care of my husband and pray for my baby and my family but when days arent good i feel paralysed. Just a recluse,a dumbwit and no-good. These days i am totally shrouded in self-doubt and feelings of doom.
Just waiting for some light to shine.

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