"Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its root into the very depths of your heart; confess to yourself whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write." Rainier Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Storm in a pond

Just when you think all is ok...all is well and you can sit back and relax, someone throws a stone into your quiet little pond of life and create ripples in it. Disrupt the calm of your life and then we start the process of churning it all the more by thinking of all the past and before you know..it's a raging storm.

And that poor pond of my life is nothing but engulfed in this storm. In the scheme of a larger picture my life is just a handful of ticking seconds bestowed upon me and it is my only chance to make something out of my life. But these stones hurled towards me ! They take away from me all that i put in so much efforts and time to build.

I dont want to remember anything that i should have forgotten long ago. Neither do i need any help,two-bit advice or sympathy in doing that. I am perfectly equipped to take care of my messy life affairs. I am raged. Raged at people thinking that their meddling could make it better.

Sociopath,call me that if you want,but i really dont feel like talking to people who are there in my life for their privilege,talk when they want,call at their fancy and care when they feel like. Where does that leave me in the equation !!! Oh it is said rightly when you push people away carelessly you never know whether they are gonna miss you or learn to live without you.

My little pond got ruffled. Got ruffled bad. But writing calms me and brings me to my senses. Now i get it why people are so attached to their blogs,some of us find this is the only place where we get to talk. To really say what we feel. No niceties,no sugar-coats. I dont care who reads it. All i care about is how it makes me feel. Just saying something without knowing if somebody would lend an ear to me. *Pity* but atleast i know what to expect of it. Atleast i know now that there isnt anyone to hold me when i fall. I fall,i get bruised,cry a bit,dust myself up,try to get up again. Process is simple,durable and unfailing.

The more you depend on people the more you are disappointed and the maths is screwed up, there it goes exponentially. No more shoulders to cry on,just shed the fucking tears in the pile of rubbish where you have managed to land up and move on(note: whoever said that your tears are precious,was screwing up with you real bad) It is tough job but learn it sooner than later.

Be possessive about your little pond. Guard it with your life. Keep your own fish and frogs happy. The moment you share it with an outsider you are gonna lose all the serenity and wound up drowning in your own pond...breathless dead and alone.


The Unknowngnome said...

croak, croak...this little frog had to laugh reading the first paragraph, especially after yesterday's post. :D

Again, peace Dr.

Oh, if you would, please call me Tug. "Sir" is much to formal for me. :)

Dr Mandeep Khanuja said...

@Tug sorry for the contraption here :) yes i tend to get de-stabilised sigh nothing i cud do about it :P
but i try n get ok too...in a little while.


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