"Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its root into the very depths of your heart; confess to yourself whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write." Rainier Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

Friday, April 13, 2012

Blind Faith

Once when a demon is driven away from her residing place,she roams the whole Earth and when she doesn't find any place suitable,she returns back with seven other demons to reclaim her old place.

You all must have heard of this,but i am living it now ! Trust me,next time when you know that God wants you to do a certain specific thing,do not question His judgement nor His timing,just do it. Blind Faith.

Many a times we think we are better equipped to run our life. That we are makers of our own destiny. That nobody but us,know what's best for us. Guess what,we do not ! I had everything in the world once,i even had a conscience ! Best of it,i had the hand of God himself guiding my path. Alas,i screwed up it all. I never doubted His wisdom,i just made the mistake of doubting His timing.

Consider a scenario,your mum asks you to switch of the stove,on which dinner is cooking. One way to disobey is not to listen to her at all ! That would burn the dinner. Second way to disobedience is that you do not doubt her judgement,but you just say to yourself that you would definitely switch off the stove,just not now,may be later,at your own convenience ! That would'nt be useful too anyways,right ? It would burn the dinner, all the same.

The grave mistake we all do is to wait for a better time to fulfill our calling,but the bad news my friend is that if you have lost the timing,you have lost it all. If you know something in your heart, that you want to do,just go for it. Like i have heard people say they want to support a child (i am just using a mild example) then just dont sit and think about it,go for it. Not just donations or charity is what i am talking about. Sometimes you know in you heart that the path you are following is not for you,like you might feel in your heart to leave certain habits/person,but you just stick to it,may be because of convenience or due to your ego or else to prove that you could do with your life whatever you want to ! But if you hear the tiniest of voice in you to turn back and run,do not commit the blunder of ignoring it. You must have heard better late than never,but my advice better early than late.

Some time before i just wrote a short post,it was not so much as a post as a cry for mercy and a confession. I was so happy to see comments on it,and talking to people respond to it,really did lift up my spirit. It didnt heal the wound,but it eased the pain. Even today i want to do the same. I have been a bad person,right from the time,i started disobeying Him. It started with small things and moved onto the bigger stuff. I have done some things that my God despises. I can tell all of you now that there are no short cuts to success. No matter what one accomplishes,how much bank balance one creates,or how "successful" one becomes,if we lose favour in His eyes,we have lost everything. There is no peace,no serenity,no calm. World looks like a crowded place where you end up being dead-lonely. All you do then is to run from pillar to post finding peace that eludes you every step of the way. That my friend,is the result of being forsaken by your only one true guide,your almighty. 

Penance is tough,and tests your patience to the very limit. Pray often to keep yourself away from temptation,it may come disguised as cheating,dishonesty,lying,ways to make easy money. Even the things that world considers right,are wrong. I have heard myself telling me so many times 'it's ok,everybody does it,it's no big deal',turns out...it is a big deal. You fall once and then you keep falling.The only reason i write this post is to remind myself that sometimes i might not be the best person to solve my problems. And when you know in your heart,that you are being called upon to do something,do not doubt....or delay the calling.


Atrocious Scribblings said...

The power of 'NOW' is indeed very underplayed in this day and age.

Quite an insightful piece, made me ponder over a few points.

Cheers :)

Dr Mandeep Khanuja said...

It is written with a bleeding heart !

The Unknowngnome said...

Your timing here is perfect. It's succinct, synced and sufficient.

Yours is more than blind faith, you have eyes that see.

Dr Mandeep Khanuja said...

@ unknowngnome....nothing else,no comment,no amount of appreciation could have made me any happier than these words that you have written here my friend.
I had always seen myself as the mule that wouldn't obey and had to be led with reins through the nose like in Psalm32:9. And you saying i have eyes of Faith. What greater pleasure there could be !

Vicky Dada (Vikas) said...

You have a gift doc, you see people!

Dr Mandeep Khanuja said...

Thanks vicky :)


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