Some things they say cannot be explained,certain feelings stand beyond the world of words...mocking them.
Try explaining a visually challenged the color green, and you would know how difficult it is to put into words the sickly feeling of loneliness. It comes in a sudden surge,great big waves of loneliness,you won't even know what hit you! You can experience these pangs almost anywhere and anytime,watching tv,having dinner,washing dishes. Just let your guard down for a moment and it would slap tight across your face.
What do i do then? I reach out for my phone..fast as a bolt of lightening. In what hopes...hahaa eludes me! As if someone remembers me! As if someone somewhere would have felt that something has happened 'to' me! N'ah that never happens. Just like innumerable times in the past i am highly tempted to message a loved one! But i just control myself,do not message,and save making a fool of myself.
And then when the 'wave' has crashed and receded i look around and see what i am left with.Almost invariably i always check my hands,as if expecting to find something 'lost' from them. I am standing empty handed (both literally and metaphorically). pffew...how do i make someone understand this! How do i start to put it into words! How do i say what being and feeling lonely means.....just try explaining the color green to me.